Tuesday, November 1, 2016

"Another Kristin"

My life seems to be a series of unfortunate self inflicted events. This started at a young age. All of us have our war stories-- how we broke this bone or how we got this scar-- and the majority of them are awesome. But then there's me. No cool stories. You see this scar in my face? Yep. I got that when I was a three and I bit a power cord. And this one? I face planted into the pavement. No, definitely not falling from a skate board, but leap frog with a pole. And this broken bone? You think this looks bad? You should see the seven year old I landed on. Oh, and did I mention I was 18 and fell  out of a bunk bed. Yep, you see, I'm my own casualty of war.

My body isn't the only casualty, there are also cars. As in plural. More than one. Let's just say, if you ask my dad how many of his vehicles I destroyed, he doesn't give a real answer, it's more of a grunt and an eye roll. To my recollection the answer is car (wrecked twice), a truck, and a van. It got so bad my siblings wrote a song about me (to the tune of the Sweater Song) "If you want to destroy the Jetta..." 

Next there is cell phones, which I go through about one a year. But hey, I've lasted almost two years with this one and I'm so proud of myself (some accomplishment). 

Clothing, there are food stains on almost everything I own.

Thanksgiving turkey, I actually thought the turkey tasted even better after I spilt grape juice on it.,

The list goes on and on. 

A few years ago, my sister got a flat tire and her husband said "Oh great, you pulled another Kristin" 

Yes, my name has become a symbol for mindless mistakes. 

Running out of gas, falling and getting hurt, spilling, crashing, dropping. I am a representative of it all.

And yet-- 

I have been entrusted with two precious children. Two unsuspecting victims. Sometimes I wonder how am I going to get to make it to the last level, college. I have days filled with lots of pulled Kristins and I feel like I'm not going to make it.

As parents we  all make lots of mistakes but we are also our own worst critics. On the broad spectrum, we are making it and great news I'm already 3/18th done with the first one and she's still alive! The little one isn't too far behind and also still very alive! 

My diaper bag looks like a bomb went off in it-- But, I usually have everything I need. 

The kids almost always  have at least one clean outfit.

I almost always brush my daughter's hair, which it's quite the accomplishment  since  holding her  down is like grabbing a greased pig. Speaking of, if you haven't had to hold down a rolling baby with your forearm while you change a diaper with one hand, you haven't really lived.

I don't allow candy binges everyday, in fact both my kids love fruits and veggies. 

I've mastered loading  two kids in the car.

I've officially potty trained a human being, and bribing to go number two with a candy counts! 

We all have our struggles but at the end of the day, I have a smart, sweet and sassy, gorgeous little girl who doesn't quite get the concept of stranger danger. And a handsome, cuddly, beast of a baby who totally has me wrapped around his finger! We all pull Kristins--but remember there's always tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that, too. Oh, and if all else fails, that's where grandma comes in!!

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